I'm technically proficient

...despite certain attitude issues

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phoning home [RP for Lee]
standing in the elevator
lockhart_md
After three hellish days in detox, Abby is finally feeling well enough, relatively speaking, to settle into a routine of sorts at the inpatient rehab center she's checked herself into. Throughout the detox process, throughout the tremors, nausea, debilitating headaches, and insomnia, all she's thought of (other than having a drink) is Lee and Lily. She's cried more than she'd ever admit, missing her husband and daughter and home almost to the point that she feels it physically. She almost regrets saying she needs to do this alone, but knows she'd never be able to do it if this wasn't her decision and hers alone.

But she still needs them. More than she's ever admitted to herself before. She takes a shower, subconsciously wanting to be fresh and clean for her first allowed phonecall after a successful completion of the detox process. She makes her way from her room to the main floor where she waits, impatiently, for her allotted time slot to begin.

When she finally gets on the phone, she freezes for a moment, her fingers forgetting what to do, what numbers to dial. When she shakes herself and dials the familiar numbers of Lee's phone, she can feel her heart banging around in her chest. What can he think of her now? Maybe he won't even want to talk to her. Maybe he's relieved to be rid of her and the mess she's made of her life. She wouldn't blame him, and she can feel her palms sweating as she listens to the phone ring.

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She sniffs and clears her throat when she hears Lee get back on the phone. Hey...

"Aunt" La La has been teaching our little girl new words. He smiles softly as Lily offers him a block.

Is that what she said? Git? I heard that right? She shakes her head.

Yes. He chuckles softly. Thankfully Molly will be here soon, La La is out of a babysitting job.

No more blaming me solely for Lily's foul mouth, then. She warns. When's Molly coming?

Just her favorite word. He sobers then, clearing his throat. Ah, she'll be here later tonight.

Oh. She feels like crying again, jealousy, inadequacy, guilt all settling on her again. That's...good. Does she...know?

He nods though Abby can't see him. Yeah...I, I'm sorry but I needed someone to talk to and I need the help with Lily. She needs some stability and bouncing her around between babysitters isn't helping. He hesitates, Are you mad at me?

No, I'm...I mean, we talked about her coming anyway...She's not mad, she's hurt, though she knows she shouldn't be. She should be glad someone they trust will be helping take care of Lily, but instead she finds herself resenting the older woman, who has herself together enough to care for a child, who will be there for her daughter's Christmas like Abby won't be.

He hears the strain in her voice, can tell there's something she's not saying. I know we did...you need to tell me if this isn't okay any more.

No, it's...fine. She insists, trying to sound like she means it. Molly will take good care of her.

She's not you. He continues to watch Lily, his voice softer as he tries to sincerely connect with Abby, let her know that he's not trying to hurt her. You're Lily's mother.

Her face crumples at that, though she still manages not quite to cry. I suck at it. She tries a lighter tone, something that's almost a joke but not quite. It's too close to the truth to be a joke.

He cradles the phone between his shoulder and ear, rubbing his brow with his hand, pained expression on his face. He doesn't want to criticize her now, not while she's trying to get well. You do not.

She rolls her eyes at what she perceives to be an obvious lie, but doesn't want to continue this back and forth argument. Um...do you think, maybe, you two could come...visit sometime? I don't know, maybe around Christmas or...something? She wouldn't blame him if he said no. Wouldn't even be surprised.

He looks surprised at the request. He'd taken her at her word when she said she needed to do this alone and never thought she'd want him or Lily there with her. Not after the way she refused him back in August about going to Texas. Is that allowed?

I don't know specifics...But I know other people here have visitors...She bites her lip. You don't have to. I just thought...

No...He shakes his head, not wanting her to change her mind. Baby, I miss you. We both do. Of course I want to see you.

Well, just...She shrugs, needing to give him an out if he wants one. Keep it in mind.

He frowns. Was she just offering without really wanting to see them? You're the one in charge here, Abigail. If you want to see us, we'll come. If you don't...well, Lily and I will be here at home when you're ready to come back.

Her brow furrows at that. I want to see you. I asked.

You also turned around and said I didn't have to come. He points out. This is about you, what you need and what you want. Just be honest with me.

I *am* being honest. She lets out a breath. I want you to come, but not if you don't want to.

Why wouldn't I? He would love to know how she comes to these conclusions sometimes.

I wouldn't blame you. She says quietly, thinking of how angry he'd been at her for drinking, the things she'd said to him, how she hadn't been a good mother for Lily.

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