I'm technically proficient

...despite certain attitude issues

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I need help [RP for Lee] (spoilers for tonight's ER)
standing in the elevator
lockhart_md
After a strangely jarring conversation with the new hospital chaplain, Abby finds herself taking the elevator upstairs, to the surgical department. Making her way to her husband's office, she waffles outside the door, pacing, stalling.

It's not until she sees one of the surgical nurses casting a curious look in her direction that she knocks softly on the door, then pushes it open. She takes a deep breath, running her fingers through her hair, and lets the door close behind her as she steps into Lee's office.

She begins to speak but has to clear her throat before she tries again.
Hey...how's the leg feeling? She approaches her husband slowly, gesturing to his injured leg.

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I'm so sorry...She keeps her head down, wiping at her eyes. I need to go soon...I can't keep...You'll take care of Lily?

Hey...shhh...He makes soft noises as he murmurs against her hair, his hand squeezing her shoulder. Wanting her to get help, he hadn't imagined that it would break her this way to ask for it. Didn't think it would squeeze his heart to hear her admit it. Of course I will.

She nods, leaning against him lightly, feeling small, full of failure. I haven't been a good mother.

He moves his hand to rest against her back, hating that he has to agree with her assessment there. That's going to change.

She doesn't deserve how kind he's being, she knows that. She clenches and unclenches her fists and swallows past the thickness in her throat. It won't...It can't, if I'm like this.

He nods, not really knowing what to say to her at this point. Well...you want to get help, so that's a start in the right direction. I'll help you. That's all I've wanted to do, help you.

I filled out the paperwork for a leave...She admits her actual reason for coming to County when she's not on shift.

I don't think your chief is on today...He tries to hide his surprise at her admission, thinking she' have discussed this with him first. So you've made up your mind about this? Did you find a facility with room for you?

She's not...She shakes her head. And no...not yet. I need to call around today.

Do you want me to help with that? He knows he isn't going to be much good in the OR, he was on crutches just to tend to a trauma patient in the ER.

She swallows, knowing he's not going to like this. I need to do this alone, Lee.

He drops his hand from her back. It's always alone with her. Never wanting his help. I see.

Lee. She sits up a little, turning to look at him, pleading with her eyes. Please. I *can't* do this if I don't do it myself.

Do you need me for anything? He looks back at her, his own plea needing to be answered.

Don't give up on me? She asks, sincerely needing his support.

Have I ever? He'd do anything for her, even now, if only she'd let him.

She shakes her head in answer. Be here when I get home...Take care of Lily...that's what I need.

Of course I'll be here, I'll take care of Lily. He can't help but be hurt that she'd think he wouldn't do those things.

Her eyes fill again as she nods. I know you will. She hates this, feeling so inadequate and guilty and knowing it will only get worse before it gets better.

He pulls her close again, at a loss as to how he should comfort her. You don't have to worry about us, just do what you have to do, okay?

She leans into him, selfishly taking his comfort at the moment. Okay...It comes out as a whisper.

He presses a kiss to her hair as he echoes her whisper. Okay.

She stays resting against him, wishing that this could be enough, him and Lily and their love, their family. Wishing that she could be strong enough to stop this on her own, for them.

He holds her, his own thoughts mirroring hers though he realizes that he's not qualified to help her battle an addiction, not that this comforts him. He wants to be the one to help her. I'm sorry...for not knowing something was wrong sooner.

She shakes her head against his chest. This isn't your fault, not even close to it.

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